I'm Not Changing! - Code Words for Arrested Development

They are phrases actually, not just words, but they are a sure indication that the person you are talking to has little plan of learning anything new, from you, or anyone else. They are also the mark of a person who must be in control. None of this reflects a free spirit, nor does it encourage freedom in your spirit, so tread lightly.

Code phrase number one - Let's agree to disagree - They might have just as well hung out a sign that says you can talk till you are blue in the face, but the way I see the world is the way it is and I'm not changing that for anyone. Be careful what you try and do with this person, as it is likely that one day you will hit a place where this will mean a lot in your forward operation with them on any level. What they are really saying is I'm not budging; I will not see this any other way, and I don't care who says it, especially you. If what you want is a flexible relationship that moves, don't stop here.

Code phrase number two - Well, you do understand that that is your opinion, right? - That is a mechanism to stop whatever the discussion is, and is much like the let's agree to disagree version of non-forward movement. However it is also designed to put you in your place and let you know how unimportant your opinion is in the scheme of things, and certainly in this person's world. Who else's opinion could it be if it is coming out of your mouth? So what really was the purpose of making this statement? Control. So not only is this person likely not to grow in a direction that is fluid and forward moving, but they are also not going there with you because your opinion means diddly to them, and they want you to know that and doubt yourself. If that doesn't work in your world, beware.

Code phrase number three - Only God can judge me - This usually comes after something has been pointed out in their behavior that affected you, sometimes stated verbatim with no additional take or opinion on the information, other than to express how you feel about what they did. It is a manipulative tactic to make sure you feel bad about pointing out whatever negative thing they did. It is a sneaky, backhanded thing, also meant to control you, not just them, and so it may be the most dangerous of the three in this progression, because it seeks to diminish the God spark that you naturally have, and take away your right to respond to whatever the situation. It is sneaky, and also reflects a certain level of maturity, or the lack thereof.

None of these kinds of statements reflect a person working on becoming their best spiritual selves. That doesn't mean however, that they can't do so if they take a look at themselves and decide that they want to do the work.

Listen carefully for the use of these kinds of statements and then watch even more carefully for the kinds of behaviors that happen surrounding them. It may be time to set your self free from this kind of spiritual bondage from a person unwilling to learn another way to choose spiritual freedom. Remember that the more you yield to these kinds of controlling behaviors, the further you are from your best relationship with God, and thus yourself. If you are into the Love Cards system, and the book by Robert Camp, these are quite often Diamonds I find. They have much to work through, but that of course is not a steadfast rule, and there are many others in other suits who operate like this as well. If you can help them set themselves free, then try, but this is a hard group because they don't want or like change, generally, at least not in emotional and spiritual self examination and thus actions. Don't go down with the ship.

Set your spirit free!